Hey there, fellow nurse-mom. Let’s be real—juggling a demanding nursing career with motherhood can sometimes feel like you’re being pulled in a million directions. The constant balancing act between the responsibilities of caring for patients and nurturing your family is exhausting. There are days when you leave work feeling like a hero for saving lives, only to come home and feel like you’re failing your own kids. The guilt of missing out on family time, weekends, and special occasions often feels overwhelming. You’re not just battling physical fatigue; the emotional toll can be equally draining. But trust me, you’re not alone in this struggle. Let’s dive into this together and share some ways to manage that mom guilt.
Missing Time with Family on Weekends
Weekends are prime family time for most people, but as a nurse, your schedule often doesn’t align with the typical 9-to-5. It’s tough missing out on those Saturday soccer games or Sunday brunches. I remember one weekend when my daughter took her first steps. I was at the hospital, caring for my patients, and it was heartbreaking to come home and watch a video of her excitement instead of witnessing that precious milestone in person.
The guilt of not being present for those small, yet significant moments can be overwhelming. You hear about the fun activities and memories being made, and it feels like you’re missing out on so much. But you’re also reminded of the important work you’re doing, helping others in their time of need, which is a constant tug-of-war on your emotions.
Missing Holidays and Special Occasions
Holidays and special occasions are the moments we look forward to all year. Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays—these are the times meant for creating cherished memories. I remember working all day on Christmas Eve and coming home just as the festivities were in full swing. By the time I got home, I was so exhausted that it was hard to fully enjoy the celebration, and I felt like I had missed out on the magic of the evening.
Missing special occasions like Mother’s Day with my family is really tough. There was this one time I had to work because of a last-minute shift change, and not being there to celebrate with my loved ones hit me hard as a mom. Afterward, seeing the pictures and hearing their stories filled me with guilt and made me feel so disconnected. But it also showed me just how strong and supportive my family is, always backing me up in my demanding job.
Being Exhausted After a Long Shift
After a grueling 12-hour shift, coming home utterly exhausted is the norm. I strive to be present for my kids, but sometimes, all I can manage is collapsing on the couch. I vividly recall when my youngest was an infant and needed nighttime feedings; my exhaustion seemed amplified during those times. By the time I got home after such shifts, I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open, let alone help with homework or play games. Witnessing the disappointment in my kids’ faces and feeling like I was failing them weighed heavily on my heart.
Photo by Hollie Santos on Unsplash
The fatigue is real, and it can sometimes feel like you’re running on empty, trying to give what little you have left to your family. It’s hard not to feel guilty when you can’t muster the energy to engage fully. Yet, despite the exhaustion, knowing you’re providing for your family and setting an example of hard work can offer a small measure of comfort.
Feeling Disconnected from Your Kids
With your busy schedule, it’s easy to feel like you’re drifting away from your kids. You miss out on their day-to-day lives, and it can feel like you’re not as involved as you’d like to be. One evening, sitting down to dinner with my family, my three-year-old surprised me by spelling her name. It struck me then that I hadn’t realized how much she was learning, and it made me feel disconnected from her world.
This disconnect can lead to feelings of inadequacy and guilt, as if you’re not fulfilling your role as a mom. Sometimes, it feels like life is moving on without you, and keeping up feels like an impossible task. But I try to remind myself that even the small moments we share matter and make a difference in maintaining our bond.
Photo by Cedric Fauntleroy
Coping with Mom Guilt
So, how do we cope with this mom guilt? First, acknowledge that what you’re feeling is valid. It’s okay to feel sad or frustrated. You’re doing the best you can in a demanding profession. Open communication with your family about your feelings is key. Let them know you miss them and value the time you do have together. Plan special activities for your days off, no matter how small—a movie night at home can be just as memorable as a day out.
Make self-care a priority. It’s not selfish to take time for yourself. Whether it’s a quiet bath, reading a book, or taking a walk, do something that recharges you. A well-rested, mentally healthy mom can give so much more to her family. Seek support from fellow nurse-moms who understand your struggles. Sharing your experiences and hearing theirs can be incredibly validating and comforting.
A Word of Encouragement
To all the nurse-moms out there, you’re amazing. You’re balancing a career that saves lives with raising the next generation. It’s not easy, and it’s okay to have moments of doubt. Remember, your kids see your strength and dedication. They see a role model who is compassionate, hardworking, and resilient.
You’re doing a fantastic job. Be kind to yourself, and keep going. Your love for your family and your dedication to your profession are both incredible. Hang in there, and know that you’re not alone in this journey. We’re all in it together, supporting each other every step of the way.
