Being a nurse and a mom is already tough. Adding in a relationship with your spouse? It can feel impossible. With different schedules, endless work and family duties, and never-ending to-dos, finding time for your partner often slips through the cracks. But having a solid relationship with your spouse is crucial for a happy family life and your own sanity. Let’s talk about how to keep your relationship thriving despite the chaos.
The Struggle with Different Schedules
One of the biggest challenges we face as nurse moms is dealing with different schedules. Nurses often work odd hours – nights, weekends, holidays. This means finding time with a spouse who works a typical 9-to-5 can be tricky. These conflicting schedules can leave you feeling disconnected and frustrated since quality time together is hard to find.
First thing’s first – open and honest communication about your schedules is key. Share your work shifts as soon as you get them. Get your spouse to do the same with their commitments. This way, you can spot any potential pockets of time to hang out. Using shared calendars, whether digital or a good old wall calendar, can be super helpful to keep you both in the loop.
Photo by Debby Hudson
Make the most of the time you do have together, even if it’s short. Instead of waiting for a big block of time, focus on smaller, frequent moments you can share. Whether it’s a quick breakfast before your shift or a 15-minute chat before bed, these little moments of connection can keep your relationship strong.
Setting Aside Time for Dates
Despite the busy schedules, making time for dates is key to keeping the romance alive. This can mean planning dates outside the home or making the most of your time together at home.
Going Out:
When planning dates outside, think about activities you both enjoy that let you relax and reconnect. This could be dinner at your favorite spot, a movie night, or a walk in the park. Plan ahead to make these dates happen. Coordinate with your spouse to find a day and time that works for both of you. Arrange for childcare if needed. Even once a month, a night out can be a refreshing change and a chance to focus solely on each other.
Staying In:
When going out isn’t feasible, home dates can be just as special. Once the kids are asleep, create a cozy, romantic atmosphere at home. Cook a meal together, watch a favorite movie, or play a game you both enjoy. The key is to be intentional about this time, treating it like a real date. Turn off distractions like phones and laptops, and focus on each other.
Photo by Jonathan Borba
Prioritizing these dates, whether inside or outside the home, shows your spouse that your relationship is important and worth investing in, even with busy schedules.
Finding Daily Moments to Connect
Amidst the craziness of work and family life, it’s crucial to carve out small, meaningful moments each day to connect with your spouse without the kids. These daily check-ins don’t have to be long; even a few minutes can make a big difference in maintaining a strong bond.
Start by establishing a daily ritual that works for both of you. This could be morning coffee together, a quick phone call during a break at work, or a few minutes of conversation before bed. The goal is to create a consistent habit of connecting, even on the busiest days. Use this time to share your thoughts, listen to each other, and express your appreciation and love.
Another way to ensure daily connection is through physical touch. Holding hands, hugging, or cuddling on the couch can provide comfort and reinforce your emotional connection. These small gestures of affection help you feel closer and more supported by each other.
It’s not about the quantity of time but the quality. By making these daily moments a priority, you build a strong foundation of connection and intimacy that can withstand the pressures of busy schedules.
Taking Vacations Without Kids
Taking a vacation without the kids might seem like a far-off dream, but it’s an investment in your relationship that can pay off big time. Spending uninterrupted time together away from the daily grind lets you reconnect, relax, and strengthen your bond.
Photo by Yoann Boyer
Planning a kid-free vacation requires some preparation and coordination. First, you’ll need to arrange reliable childcare, whether it’s getting help from family members, hiring a trusted babysitter, or coordinating with friends for a kid swap. It’s also important to choose a destination and activities that you both enjoy and that will let you unwind and enjoy each other’s company.
The benefits of a vacation without the kids are huge. It gives you a chance to focus on each other without the distractions of work and parenting. You can enjoy new experiences together, rekindle the romance, and come home feeling rejuvenated and more connected. This time away can remind you why you fell in love in the first place and strengthen your partnership for the long term.
Conclusion: How to Keep Your Marriage Strong as a Busy Nurse Mom
Keeping a strong relationship with your spouse as a busy nurse mom is definitely challenging, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. By dealing with the difficulties of differing schedules, setting aside time for dates both outside and at home, taking daily moments to connect without the kids, and planning vacations together, you can nurture your relationship and keep the romance alive. Remember, it’s the small, consistent efforts that make the biggest difference. By prioritizing your relationship with your spouse, you not only enhance your partnership but also create a happier and more harmonious family life. So, take the time to invest in each other, and watch your love grow stronger every day.
